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Hell, masturbation is one of the most natural things in the world. While the Kim Davises of the world insist on breaking laws and shoving their religious hypocrisy down our throats, we will defy them and expose them for the hypocrites that they are. Let this be notice: if you persist in trying to force others to follow moral codes that you yourselves cannot even abide in private, you can and WILL be hoist from your own petards, and by us!“I am forming a new church, in compliance with the laws of the Commonwealth of Kentucky, and here are some of my officers, such as Marten de Groot, Nicole de Groot, Rev. Larry Parsons, Hannah Parsons,... , “ I started to say, but was interrupted by one of the reporters on the lawn.“Excuse me for interrupting, Lisa Calderon from the Beacon, would you say that this new religion is Christian, pagan, or something else?” a chunky brunette with lovely curls interrupted me with such surprising politeness given the inherent rudeness of it all that I. " It seems like it's always hard." That's your fault." Guys get hard for any woman," she scoffed.I sighed. "Sweetheart, I know tons of women I'm not interested in having sex with. If any of them came to me and asked me to fool around with them, just for fun, I would politely decline. Mr. John Thomas doesn't stand to attention for just any old female." Mr. John Thomas? I thought we were talking about you." She did look confused."It's just a name for my ... um ... manhood."She laughed. "You call him Mr. John Thomas?" It's a traditional name," I said, with as much dignity as I could muster."Well, I think I want to meet Mr. John Thomas," she said.I admit I was a little fired up by now, so I didn't resist. I just skinned out of my shorts and let her see it.Gone was her little game of just touching it with part of her hand. Mr. John Thomas became her instant new, best friend as she gripped him lovingly and stroked him like a massage therapist in training."Where did you learn to do that?" I.
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